Seasons of Expansion

Last night, I went to our church's WOW ( womens outreaching to women ) nite. We hold them on the last friday of every month and tackle different topics relevant to women, or just socialise. Anyway, this time,our pastor Pauline Warner, invited the wonderful Suzie Botross (She Will Run) to share with us about time management.

Now to be fair I should go back a week, and give you a little glimpse into the build up to this nights activities.

10 days ago, It was wednesday 15th of June. I  went to work on Wed, Thurs and Friday,  getting up at 5.30 am to get in the city by 7:20am. I usually have to iron uniforms for all of us, make lunches for the kids, pack my toddler's childcare bag, set out clothes, have breaky, do my TAWG and shower, dress, makeup, hair, and go to work.... Once I arrive at work, its go go go, till I leave... drive the long commute home arriving appox 5pm, pick up my toddler from childcare, take her home, get her dinner, give her a bath,settle her to bed, then cook tea for the rest of the family, having it ready as they walk in hungry at about 630pm After dinner, I get the other kids bathed, and tackle issues like unfinished homework, readers, random school projects due in 2 days time and the debriefing from their day at school, whilst at the same time, listen as my husband shares his days experience. Once the kids are in bed, the lunchboxes and uniforms for the morning retrieved,  and my own uniform put out for ironing in the am; I sit in my favourite arm chair, pull out my laptop, wade through the online unit I am studying at present whilst, spending a little time social networking on facebook etc (my hubby tackles his work on his laptop, usually in the same loungeroom, at the same time). I finally stumble off to bed sometime close midnight and am up again at the crack of dawn to do it all over again.

Now I had to work an extra, on this Saturday am. When I got home I was exhausted and after getting lunch for everyone , I had a 2 hr nap. My kids usually wash all their clothes, under my direction, and tidy their bedrooms on sat ams... But this weekend, our church was hosting  Tim Hall, an entertaining but also powerfully impacting healing evangelist. So my  husband took the kids to the seminar in the am, and when I got home, the kids had done nothing towards tackling their chores.  My husband had to push them really hard to get them to do anything... So having me asleep left my hubby somewhat perturbed and when I woke up, a silly argument ensued about the whole tidying issue etc.  We went to the Saturday nite outreach,  and   feeling challenged, dissolved into tearful apologies afterwards. The following sunday, we went to church in the am, I went to visit a friend after lunch,  came home, put a roast on, went to church again, and came home to a lovely roast, before getting the kids to bed and tackling the study once again...

Monday and Tuesday, I found the house in  a state of neglect, the kids clothes unclean, my own clothes not washed, the larder was empty and I had a teething unhappy sick toddler  who didnt want to be put down.
Wednesday worked, but came home to a sick husband with a 24hr bug. Thursday same ol thing, except I picked up an extra childbirth Education casual shift and was gone  from 0630 am til 1030 pm , getting a text message about the untidy state of the house. I came home and worked for an hour tidying the kitchen, and then did the usual preparation for the following day. I worked on friday am, and got home at 5, washed fed and put to bed my toddler,  and ensuring the family had food for tea before heading off to the womens event.

I was sooooooooo tired. I thought to myself as I drove to the womens event, I am so inconsistant, that the only thing that I do consistantly, is be inconsistant. !!!!! 
 
                                                Living this season of my life is such a challenge.

When I arrived I grabbed a coffee and sat with some ladies I havent had much time to chat with lately,  mums with young kids and working too.  As Suzie shared  from Gods wisdom on  managing our time, I in my exhausted silly state, joked around  loudly with the others, and we laughed and laughed. Yet deep down we couldnt help it,  at the same time, sobs of distress almost choked each one of us into silence.  It is sooo hard to deal with. As we started to share our weeks experiences, we couldnt stop talking. We realised we were in this similar state of pressure, of juggling all the big stones in our lives... the big parts that sent all the deeper questions bubbling to the surface.

How does a woman manage her full life? How does she prioritise her marriage, her family, her faith, her work, her home, her church, her friends, her own needs etc.? Pounding our heads with the overwhelming  thought of juggling it all, we found the comfort of common experiences and  in the deep desire to get it right, we found comfort in knowing most women in our season of life are doing the same thing. We need God and we need each other.

God has told us to cherish our time, to use it wisely, and that if we do, we will find contentment. Yet here we were, all three, exhausted struggling to find that sense of peace in our lives. We laughed , we cried, we encouraged each other, we listened, we validated each others situation and difficulties. Suzie and Pauline boosted us up, but most of all, we recognised that it is a season that comes with womanhood, motherhood and being a wife. It comes with fulfilment, and having "full" lives, pressed down shaken together and running over. Its almost too hard to contain. Some of the difficulties we face, are simply  poor self talk, lack of  self discipline and disorder. Some of the issues are simply beyond our control, but there is comfort in sharing each others burdens.

Although all my deeper questions were not fully answered last nite,  I left  with the  knowledge of what I need to do, to obtain some practical improvements  in my life. But most of all I left with  the sense of peace and comfort  that comes form sharing, with others that understand the realities of living a full life . I recognise this is a season of expansion and that God is broadening our shoulders, our hearts, and our hands. He is teaching us to better our thoughts and our organisation, but most of all, he is expanding our need of him. I thank God for this season Im in. I wouldnt swap it for quids!

Messie Transformations

Today Im sharing from my mothers heart, the challenges I face as a " self confessed messie" with the responsibility I have to raise tidy, organised, "cleanie" kids, able to function responsibly in our western society. Ive been on a journey since I was a teenager, to conquer my messie ways, and its just got harder!.

Over time, I've come to value, not only living neatly and having a beautiful tidy home, where guests feel free to drop by at any time,... but also to value the benefits of being organised, of staying on track, with a household & familiy life that runs fluidly, seemlessly, every day . Ahhh the dream is still out there!

Talking to a friend one day in our church creche, she told me about the Messie Manual (by Sandra Fenton) and loaned me several books on this topic.  It was the answer I needed to help me make some dramatic changes in my erratic, cluttered and busy life. I joined the online self help group- I  now get the regular email encouragements  helping me to change my  "stinkin thinkin" as our pastor says, and Im having a messie transformation.

Then I started practically... Ive done several clean outs at home, tackling piles of unrequired belongings, giving them away to op shops, council clean ups and the rubbish bin.  I do weekly meal plans, which we all take turns in choosing the weeks dinners, and from which I write my weekly shopping list.  Now  I  can also shop  just once a week, reigning in those costly, frequent trips for incidentals.

Ive introduced my children to the  new (not) concept of "chores". They always had to tidy their bedrooms and this has been a constant struggle and remains so.  But I started with a single chore , each of setting or clearing the table at the night time meal. Suprisingly they've taken this on without too much trouble. We did this for several months before I introduced the next new idea that each child had to keep either their toilet or bathroom tidy as well as their shared bedroom, and the dinner routine.That was over 6mths ago. Now we are regularly getting them to tidy their areas.... with a reasonable amount of success (let the optimism shine through!) In general, the greatest problem still falls with me, and my own issues of inconsistency, slackness and the like, although, this too is improving slowly.

The latest step towards tidyness, has been introducing the kids to the idea of washing and drying their own dirty clothes once a week. (A fun chore for kids, when its sunny n warm, a miserable chore when its cold and windy)... This has been a big step, and we've only been doing it for a month with mixed success... But the process has already had some interesting  lightbulb moments for all of us...

1. Putting the clean clothes away, rather than tossing them in the dirty clothes basket when tidying - is less work. WOW  
2. Washing, hanging clothes, folding  and putting them away takes a lot of time, Hmmm.
3. You can't put wet or damp clothes in drawers as they dont dry!, Nor does hanging clothes on top of each other on  the washing lines.  If you do so, you  will have damp clothes to wear to school etc...
4. You need to think ahead to what they want/ need to wear through the week to make sure its clean... or they miss out.  (not good when its schoolwear but anyway).
5. Kids need to be prompted to do their chores, and rereminded of all these things...every time they're meant to do them. arghhh groan!

Im sure there's much more to be learnt by doing this, and at nearly 9 and 6 yrs old,  my daughters are big enough to do something towards maintaining their own clothes. I realise that as their mummy, I am leaned on heavily to remind and assist them with their chores, but this way, at least, they will hopefully ?! learn early to be responsible for their own things... and appreciate  when help is given.

The offset, is now I am getting the occasional moment where, with a relatively tidy house,  and food in the cupboard, and 2 energetic kids focussing on their own tidyness, and a toddler having a naptime, I can snatch some spare time to do me stuff... i.e. gardening, reading, playing guitar, study etc.  Its been so long since Ive had this...  (9 yrs to be precise).

And as with all things, Im appreciating every moment as it is subject to change!

Miraculous Mummy Milk -

It was hard to think of a tactful title for what Im writing about today...  The human body is amazing. A woman's miraculous, marvellous body is created for the wellbeing of her infant/s, herself and her husband. It shouts out loudly that there is a higher order intelligence, a creator God, who designed  the female body to do this very thing:- to breastfeed and nurture. One of the  hebrew names for God is " El Shaddai ", meaning "all sufficient one" , derived from the hebrew word for breasts, meaning that God provides all our nourishment and needs . If we are created in Gods image, then this nurturing aspect of God is mirrored in  the creation of a woman's body and it's crazy way of meeting the needs of the infant, without even a deliberate thought towards it. Simply amazing stuff. Anyway, not wanting to sound "hairy fairy in the airy", I'll attempt to illucidate some facinating points Ive learnt so far about breasts, breastmilk, babes and all that happens in between.

ANATOMY BASICS
Breasts are formed in a fetus, early in pregnancy. At birth, a baby's breasts are fully formed but dormant. The influence of hormones in puberty and again in pregnancy cause growth in the maternal breasts and  further differentiation of breast tissue. Its important to remember that every breast is different... no two are exactly the same,  not even on the same person. But the overall design is the same.

ALL Breasts have an areola and a nipple and  some degree of breast fullness/tissue.The areola is the dark pink/brown area surrounding the nipple and  it darkens and becomes larger in pregnancy. The bumpy bits on the areola are montgomery glands which moisten the area and have an protective antimicrobial role.

The appearance of a baby's mouth is designed specifically for suckling at a breast and  it changes shape dramatically over the first two years. Even if a baby knew how to talk at birth, it couldnt because of the  the shape of the mouth and pharangeal area. .... ok so thats the basics... now for the interesting stuff.

AT BIRTH
At birth, babies are placed on their mothers chest. Immediately after birth, the mother's breasts release subtle smells drawing the infants attention towards the nipple. The colostrum of the breast tastes and smells the same as amniotic fluid. Considering the baby's sight is blurred and unfocused, when placed on the mothers chest, it has these 2 large brown lumpy dots that smell  and taste good, to aim for.  Healthy babies, left on mums chest will attempt to attach to these dots, i.e. the breast and suckle within an hour of birth.

SKIN TO SKIN
When a baby is placed skin to skin on the mother's chest, her body focuses on  nurturing the infant immediately. Her body intuitively modifies its temperature to keep the infant warm, (bet you didnt know you could do that). The hormones surging through her body makes her nipples more erect allowing the infant to locate them more easily, and bringing a calming influence over her and by proxy, over the infant.  The love hormone oxytocin, is responsible for much of this bonding as well as contracting the mother's uterus, to minimise bleeding.

This causes the  baby to seek the breast, to meet its own nutritional needs, and by reducing the baby's cortisol (stress) levels, it reduces its crying, stablising heartrate and oxygen levels etc. God created  skin to skin for a reason. He  designed sensitive rooting reflexes in a baby's face to assist the baby to open its mouth wide to help attach to the breast. The suckling reflex occurs when the baby's mouth (hard palate) comes in contact with a nipple. Its all there in the design. One to touch, two to open, three to suck...

UNICEF UK Website Resource- first Breastfeed 

TIMING
God designed the body to make milk when a drop in pregnancy hormones occur in the first few days after birth. Even if a mother struggles with breastfeeding in those first few days, the milk still usually comes in. The more often she tries to breastfeed her baby, the quicker the milk will come in.  Once the milkflow has established, only then does the mothers supply depend on the amount the baby demands. This first production of milk is designed to accomodate the whole "learning to breastfeed" experience in the first few days. Obviously not many women get the skill of breastfeeding correct in the first few feeds, but as milk comes in, and as babies demand more feeds, and after several days caring for a babe, women start to get the feel for holding and caring for their babies and their breasts. God expected this, and wrote it into his incredible design. 

IN THE MILK
Breastmilk is also  fascinating. Its so specifically designed to meet the needs of the infant. Born relatively immature and fully dependent on its parents for survival, human infants require breast milk low in protein (easy for metabolism and excretion) and high in lactose (essential for the rapid brain development). Breastmilk is perfectly structured in content and volume, from the first small amounts of colostrum in the first few days after birth when the baby's organs are slowly begining to function, to the  active needs of the toddler.

Breastmilk contains digestive enxymes, anti inflammatory elements, antioxidants, growth factors and more. The proteins in breastmilk are nutritive, easily digested, but also antimicrobial, bacteriostatic and bacteriocidal. Breastmilk also has antiviral and antifungal capacities and can kill off some forms of cancerous cells. Breastmilk provides immunological protection  through various immunoglobulins in the milk until an infants own immune system is established.

IMMUNITY
Born in a sterile state, the infant passes through the vagina, next to the mother's anus, and has contact with the breasts through breast feeding, exposing it to all the normal gut flora of the mother, helping to form its own normal flora. This helps establish an immune defence system. When a baby comes in contact with a virus or bacterial illness,  if the mother is also exposed to the same virus/ bacteria, the mother's body produces an immune response that flows through the milk and helps the infant fight against the attack, reducing the severity of the illness in the infant, helping preserve the infant.

PREMATURITY
When a baby is born prematurely, the mother's milk is specifically designed to meet the needs of a premature infant. It is more nutrient concentrated, with higher levels of protien for energy and growth, higher levels of immune supportive elements  and the antibacterial, anti inflammatory elements remain higher  for longer in the breastmilk of mother's of premature infants, compared to those with term infants. God knew that a premmie's immune system is normally weaker for longer than a term infant. How cool is that!

INTELLIGENT DESIGN
Breastfeeding, babies, mother's bodies and the like, are wonderful examples of  intelligent design.  There is no way, in my thoughts, that a woman could choose to somehow change the nature of her breastmilk composition through natural selection, based on the intrinsic needs of an extrinsic infant - be it premature or at term.  Nor is it any small matter, when these wonderful elements of design are interrupted and meddled with, as our western medicalised societies tend to do. God created womens bodies to bear offspring before Eve sinned and  it was all part of his plan for us. We are created in his image and mirror God's capacity to nurture, to meet our needs and respond to us, even before we are aware of our need. Anyway, I hope you've been able to catch a glimpse of the creators handiwork today. Be Blessed.

Finding my place in the blog world

Hi there.

Ive had several blogs entries in here over the past few months, but to be truthful, I feel pretty inept ( is that the right word???) at  blogging. I don't know where to focus my blogs. I don't want to spend all my time talking about my family, although I can talk for hours about each one of my kids and their unique and wonderful personalities and my hubby, well I could go blue in the face talking about him etc. But I don't think its right to share tooo much about your loved ones online, for a range of reasons I wont go into on here.
I don't feel I should write specifically about my work roles for fear of breaking confidentiality by accident.  I'm known for talking too much sometimes, and  I value my workplace and am proud of the work I do. I don't want to regret making comments  too close to my work place, for fear that I may unintentionally act or become "unprofessional" in my attitudes.I do love to talk about my profession as a nurse/midwife/educator, but it has its gorie aspects, and can turn the stomachs of those, less exposed to the world of medicine, and midwifery.
I could talk about my love of God, and my faith in his amazing grace and power. I could talk about his healing touch, and his capacity to bring about positive change in the lives of everyone who invites him into their world. I could talk about God alot but again, people don't like to be challenged about religious perspectives, and I find that when I talk about God to others, it gets under their skin and by the nature of God himself, people feel uncomfortable and convicted.   I care enough, not to want to make people feel uncomfortable, but we are  all human and sinful by nature, and in the presence of a perfect and peaceful God, that sinful state can become pretty daunting and unpleasant. I believe God loves us as we are, but  He also loves us too much to leave us that way, so he is willing us to change. Change for most people is frightening and off putting. But when you know He is for you and not against you, and you're willing to allow Him to have His way in your life, the changes He will help you make will be amazing and fulfiling. *anyway that's my feelings about Him. I could write all day, every day about God. My whole life is a process of  learning more about Him and about why he loves me.
I could write about learning, about studying and about being the student, the life long learner, the self directed, self initiating, self limiting learner. I have been studying one thing or another almost every year since I started kindergarten. Now, at 38, that means Ive done a lot of study! Somewhere in my young adult life, I realised I liked to learn things...be it formally or through a  more casual arrangement.
My latest studying endeavor is in lactation consultancy preparation. I am studying towards the international board of certified lactation consultants exam in July. I'm cramming everything I can learn about breastfeeding and lactation into my porous  little brain, hoping to retain at least some of what is put there so that I can pass the exam, and work privately as a consultant.
SO where do I find my fit in this eclectic and fascinating world of blogsters>? where do I focus my blog? I could focus on motherhood and breastfeeding, boobies and babies and fluff around the edges of my life and work and family. I could go totally abstract and randomly comments on the news or social media of the moment , but  I would probably bore the pants off you all.
I could try to be like my mum and make all  my writing poetry and rhyme, but that would take a huge amount of time, that I do not own.
So for the moment, Ill continue to dabble and dribble and hope that eventually Ill find the right space and place, and faceto present to you all. Hopefully Ill be able to contribute more meaningfully to peoples lives.  In the mean time, if you think I should write on a particular subject, please let me know. Ill be happy to give it a go.
Thanks for your support.