Childhood Crushes

This week we spent some time visiting a family who have boys the same age as all my girls and are in the same classes at school etc. My girls think these boys are great and I must say, that I think they are pretty amazing kids too. I often wonder what it would be like to live in a culture where you as the parents, arrange your children's marriages. Every time I meet lovely boys who have lovely parents, I think how nice it would be to have my girls marry into their family. But still I live in the real world, in Australia, and I want my children to have the same freedoms I have had,  to make their own choice of marital partner etc. I don't think I would save them any heartache by choosing their partner for them. But I do think I can help save them from  making mistakes in marriage by raising them well.

I believe my role as a parent is to help my kids  understand that marriage is very important. It is to be valued and considered a precious institution, but is also vulnerable to life struggles and the level of attention given to its growth and development. It is to be treasured in spite of  these difficulties in procurement and maintenance.  I hope I can live it as well as tell it. I will tell them that its about a life time commitment, and  when they look for a life partner, that some important characteristics should be present. These characteristics include the ability to love deeply and selflessly, the ability to acknowledge failure and wrong, and to be able to say sorry. Wisdom, adaptability and flexibility are also important characteristics I want them to look for too. Along with consistency, strong sound convictions and a good work ethic.

I could think of many others, but I also want my girls to realise that the man they marry will also be human and have his own faults too so I  want them to be able to forgive and bring the same qualities to the marriage, to stand strong on their own convictions (which will hopefully echo those of their parents) and know what they will and wont tolerate. I hope and pray my girls will marry well and wisely, in a time of maturity, and that in the years ahead I will end up with 3 lovely, caring, Christian son- in -laws. I truely pray for this.  I am starting while they are young, because their marriages are so important and even moreso as the days are coming.. But in the mean time, I am subjected to the experiences of child hood crushes and they are now beginning to occur.

My eldest daughter has had a crush on a class mate for about a year, and has told me over n over how she'd love to marry this boy, and how dreamy and nice he is to her.  The "in" word is "dreamy".......  Groan!

Ive tried to be laid back about it when she talks about this boy, and at times tried to offer a reality check, telling her that its unlikely that she will still feel the same way in 10 - 20 years time. After a funny conversation on the weekend, my eldest daughter discovered that what she was doing was actually daydreaming about this young boy,   and that this was what people referred to as having a "crush". She didn't realise that that's what a crush was. It makes me wonder what  did she think a crush was...?

I must  remember to ask her. Anyway, I am waiting for the day when this boy has a fall from grace in her eyes and ceases to be her dream guy. I think all boyhood crushes do eventually fade don't they? I hope so... In the meantime, I guess I'll continue to be reminded of how nice, and how kind, and how funny, and how clever, and how dreamy this boy is and the many more boyhood crushes that come her way, until she finds the right one in twenty years time ( and not before if I have any say in the matter!).

Back To Work

Well, its official. I have returned to work. Casual shifts at present, I am getting used to working again. Ive booked my baby into child care, which starts when my husband also returns to work. She is managing with mummy being absent for much of the day when I work. Currently I have been picking up shifts on a  pre & post natal ward, working with mums to be and new mums and new bubs, dealing with sleep deprivation, sore boobs, babies that wont attach, or sleep, teaching how to bathe them, reassuring self doubting mums they are doing great as they battle the huge surge  of breastfeeding hormons and  the drop off pregnancy hormones. Its  usually hormonal city!  Tears are commonplace, exhaustion is certain, crankiness is common, family feuds are familiar, pain is almost always garanteed, and so is joyfulness, in huge volumes. Postnatal days are such a funny mix!

The amazing moments of sheer joy that these new parents have, gazing at the beautiful creature that is their baby, their offspring, their creation,  are mixed with so much discomfort, so much testing, so much need of them, yet every parent rises to the occasion. Its a challenge to go through it yourself and its a wonderful challenge to help people go through it too. I love it. Every parent brings to the mix their own experiences, understandings and perspective, their own temperments, and the relationship  dynamics they have with their partners or without (for those going it alone). Midwives function in a supportive and teaching role, working with the woman, and family to help them bond and care for their infant; and building on what they already know and understand as new parents.

I guess I like postnatal because of the teaching aspect, and because often there isnt a single right answer - there are a range of rights and possibilities and its your job to help the woman and her partner to choose the most appropriate options for their situation. Like us, no two babies are the same, no two women are the same, no two pregnancies or births are the same. No two choices are the same either. The choices parents make in the early days about how they will care for their child will often affect their experiences, feelings and choices long term as parents. Some will even choose whether to have more children based on their experiences in the first  few weeks after birth. So its a very important time frame for them.

Anyway, the next challenge for  me in my return to work, will be working in birth suite again, ? before or after I return to my education role.  Its a totally different ball game, working in birth suite.  Postnatally, a midwife can care for up to 6 women and their infants, and partners etc at any one time, and has to juggle many balls at once.  In birth suite, or 'labour ward', or the 'delivery rooms,' usually one midwife  is caring for one or two women at a time, along with their partners. Midwives work in tandem with others, supporting each other as their women birth.  These can be straight forward births, or complicated births, inductions of labour, caesarean births or the birth of a stillborn infant. Working in birth suite is much more focused, with a coaching aspect and one on one. It has a totally different feel, and places different demands on the midwife concerned. Still there are balls to juggle here too.

I return to an education role in February. I enjoy teaching midwifery and am looking forward to meeting the new students this year, and working with them as they learn the art of working  with women. Its a true skill to be a good midwife and I work with some incredibly skilled, effective, capable and gifted midwives. I think I am very fortunate to work where I do. Healthcare is a challenging work place at the best of times, because of the nature of work. Maternity is not such a place, and is generally an oasis of pleasantness in the health care system.   But its not without its challenges either.  So heres to returning to work, and to helping people become parents, and students become midwives, and all that happens in between.

They are still standing - Shine on Brisbane!

The tragic flooding of Queensland is just mind blowing. Like the rest of the world, Ive been captivated by the graphic visual display that has  been played and replayed on television, and then again replayed on my mind. Ive been so churned, like the muddy rapid waters gushing through the towns of Qld. Its been hard to switch off, even when Ive turned off the television. Ive actually had to ask God to step in and bring peace to my heart and my head. Last night I couldn't sleep because of images and memories of death related situations and  new  vision of people being swept to their deaths in the floods. This tragedy resurfaced other trauma Ive experienced, churning the sadness and anxiety over and over in my mind. I heard someone say on the radio that this reaction is quite common. Im not concerned for I know that, this too shall pass.

Brisbane is my home land. Ive lived in Victoria for ten years but I'm still a Queenslander at heart. Its where I was born, where I was raised, its how I think, how I talk, how I act. There's so much of my life that has been there and its where much of my extended family still live. In fact, we've got family in almost every flooded area  in the state but all are ok. Brisbane, Kallangur, Petrie, BrayPark, Toowoomba, Gold Coast, Emerald, Bundaberg, Gladstone, Sunshine Coast, Goodiwindi, etc. Most of our family holidays are still spent in Queensland. Since I left my homeland, we've worn a track on the highways through the outback  crossing three states, from Melbourne to Brisbane and back again many many times. We know the flight path from Brissie to Tullamarine too and are seasoned travellers.

Living in Victoria, when I hear people talk of the Sunshine State, my ears always prick up. Whenever there's a maroon numberplate on the road, I smile to myself, and am extra grace to them on the road.  I love my homeland, and the people and when they hurt, I hurt too.

What these amazingly resilient people have endured over the past month or so, the rains, the flood, the loss, is almost indescribable. They are a mighty tenatious bunch. I have been so very proud of these people, how they have come together to face this terrible situation. How the leadership of this nation and this state and the cities affected have shown such amazing strength and good governance in the midst of this disaster, (not even considering their political perspectives). Its wonderful how tragedy brings the best out in people, its just a shame it costs so much.  The respected George Negus once said, "Qlders do disasters well" (meaning they cope well in the midst of tragedy)  and I have to agree.

(an amazing tribute from a church in Brisbane)

Despite the overwhelming contribution to my churning, I thank God for  the media, and their ability to present the news, the views and the pictures so that Qlders around the world can stay connected to their communities.  Ive also really valued the social networking media, which has allowed me to contact friends and family and stay abreast of all that is happening to them and their families. The challenging days ahead for Qlders will test their will, their sunshiny disposition and their ability to work together, The weather is still unpredictable but hopefully there will not be a repeat of this flood in the coming days. It will be difficult to watch from afar, unable to offer much practical help. But I intend to be a listening ear, for people to share their struggles, and help encourage them and pray for them. We will also give as much as we can financially to help the recovery efforts.  I wanna do my part if I can, to see my homeland restored as best as possible.

Thank God For New Beginnings

Baldry Apricots!

 

   

picking apricots from our fruit trees

Well its finally happened. 2011 has arrived and we enter a new year, a new beginning, a new phase. No  more looking back to the year past. Thank God for new beginnings. They lift the spirit, reboost the energy levels, refocus the mind and soul, and bring good things to the fore.   This year is looking up already. For us, it is all about doing life as a family of five, with two parentals at work and three kiddilies at school & care; and all of us at church and everything else in between.

Today I started by pulling out our new calenders we received at Christmas. I was given two good ones - one has great tips for getting super organised....and I am already taking the suggestions on board to help grow the organisational capacity of my personhood.  One of my greatest challenges in life is improving my ability to organise myself n my family at the same time.
 As a mum, its expected to come with the territory and as each child emerges and the family grows, I am challenged to make my capacity grow and my ability  to manage the family and the household, strengthen. Honestly though, I have been quite patchy in areas and my organisational skills need a lot of work. These areas will be challenged even more so as I head back to work for the first time since Lily was born, adding another ball into the never ending juggling act.  This need for greater organisation comes hand in hand with  a greater level of consistency and stick ability (something Ive always struggled with).  To make it work, these extra characteristics in my personhood, also need to grow a lot. Arghhhh!!!!! the pain.... the sorrow.... the stretching!!!! But I know I can do it. Ive seen others do it successfully, and Im sure I'll be able to do the same, God willing. I just have to try, and try and try. I think I can, I think I can!

At Christmas time my lovely husband heard my request for a present I could use, and blessed me with what I really wanted (even though he felt embarrassed he couldnt boast about it to his mates), so I cant wait to use  my "nurse stuff " lol ...a neonatal stethoscope and  pocket of forceps, scissors, fob watch, neuro light, pen and card holder. I am keen to get  back into midwifery, nursing and education. Returning to work has come around so quickly, but at the same time, Ive been longing for it for ages. There's something very fulfilling about helping others through the experience of pregnancy, birth and the early days of parenthood.

More exciting preparations occurred this week as we went shopping for a family's worth of shoes. We also bought new lunchboxes and fortunately the girls uniforms still fit for this year. Now they are set for school and we can spend the rest of the holidays enjoying them as they should be. i.e. hitting the beach and playground and having a lot of  fun family time together, picking fruit, playing softball, riding bikes, playing boogle and board games, and of course, tidying up! etc.

 Hooray for new starts and new things....

Its lovely to start afresh together as a family. 

 

I am continuing to try to live a healthier lifestyle  and enhance my personal fitness... Not just a goal but a lifelong challenge for me, something that is my never ending story and something I hope to achieve, (not just a little better, but a whole lot better), each year as I age. Reflecting on 2010, Ive gained several kilos as I anticipated from breastfeeding and the munchies/ moodies...that goes with it (same as  with previous babies.) But unlike previous times, I now know the efforts  required of me to shed these kgs, especially once I have weaned. It's something I'm keen to do to benefit both myself n my hubby... I know men love to have a gorgeous wife on their arms and I wanna be that for Alan.  Plus I want to set a good example for my kids, encouraging them to maintain a healthy body, a healthy mind and not be conned into lazy attitudes and behaviours...( something I have done for much of my life).

Finally I want to continue to grow my spirit, my understanding of who God is and what he requires of me. In church today they read out Job (38 -40), where God describes himself by challenging Job's understanding of who he thinks God is....

I too want to get a better glimpse of this awesome God.

The Lord Challenges Job

¹ Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:

 ² “Who is this that obscures my plans
   with words without knowledge?
³ Brace yourself like a man;
   I will question you,
   and you shall answer me.

 ⁴ “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
   Tell me, if you understand.
⁵ Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
   Who stretched a measuring line across it?
⁶ On what were its footings set,
   or who laid its cornerstone—
⁷ while the morning stars sang together
   and all the angels^[a] shouted for joy?

 ⁸ “Who shut up the sea behind doors
   when it burst forth from the womb,
⁹ when I made the clouds its garment
   and wrapped it in thick darkness,
¹⁰ when I fixed limits for it
   and set its doors and bars in place,
¹¹ when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
   here is where your proud waves halt’?

 ¹² “Have you ever given orders to the morning,
   or shown the dawn its place,
¹³ that it might take the earth by the edges
   and shake the wicked out of it?
¹⁴ The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
   its features stand out like those of a garment.
¹⁵ The wicked are denied their light,
   and their upraised arm is broken.
 ¹⁶ “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
   or walked in the recesses of the deep?
¹⁷ Have the gates of death been shown to you?
   Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
¹⁸ Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
   Tell me, if you know all this.
 ¹⁹ “What is the way to the abode of light?

   And where does darkness reside?
²⁰ Can you take them to their places?
   Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
²¹ Surely you know, for you were already born!
   You have lived so many years!
 
 ²² “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
   or seen the storehouses of the hail,
²³ which I reserve for times of trouble,
   for days of war and battle?
²⁴ What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,
   or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?
²⁵ Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,
   and a path for the thunderstorm,
²⁶ to water a land where no one lives,
   an uninhabited desert,
²⁷ to satisfy a desolate wasteland
   and make it sprout with grass?
²⁸ Does the rain have a father?
   Who fathers the drops of dew?
²⁹ From whose womb comes the ice?
   Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens
³⁰ when the waters become hard as stone,
   when the surface of the deep is frozen?

 ³¹ “Can you bind the chains^[b] of the Pleiades?
   Can you loosen Orion’s belt?
³² Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons^[c]
   or lead out the Bear^[d] with its cubs?
³³ Do you know the laws of the heavens?
   Can you set up God’s^[e] dominion over the earth?

 ³⁴ “Can you raise your voice to the clouds
   and cover yourself with a flood of water?
³⁵ Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
   Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?
³⁶ Who gives the ibis wisdom^[f]
   or gives the rooster understanding?^[g]
37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
   Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens
³⁸ when the dust becomes hard
   and the clods of earth stick together?

 ³⁹ “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
   and satisfy the hunger of the lions
⁴⁰ when they crouch in their dens
   or lie in wait in a thicket?
⁴¹ Who provides food for the raven
   when its young cry out to God
   and wander about for lack of food? 

What an awesome, scary, amazing, creative, challenging, powerful, distinctive, personable God!

What does 2011 hold for you?