Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat.

"Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, please put a penny in the old mans hat..." is a song  we used to sing in my school choir at christmas time, way back when.  Now a days, my girls and I will break out into singing the same song on the drive to school each December morning. We love Christmas.


One of the lovely things about Christmas is that it happens every year, regular as clockwork, and  today's celebrations still resemble much of the way  we celebrated christmas when I was growing up.  Not much has changed although my kids (second generation city slickers) have never experienced a country christmas like what my parents grew up with. I  realised now what a priviledged  it was to catch a glimpse of that country life as a child.

I love the warm, exciting, childish enthusiasm that takes envelopes me as we enter the festive season. I often think back to my childhood memories of Christmas. My memories are mostly positive. It was a lovely time of year for us.  Thinking concurrently, nowadays my kids love the count down to Christmas too, especially when it includes advent calenders and choc tidbits each day and pressies at the end. Hmmm Christmas is  still such fun.

When I was a kid, my Mum used to tell us about how she grew up in a little country town called St George, in far west Qld, and how on christmas morning, she'd wake up early, go outside and find sleigh tracks in the dirt roads, and hoof prints for the reindeer, or was it  big boomer kangaroos???  Santa had been.  But for me, growing up in suburbia, there was no such  tracks, but it was still great fun imagining what life would have been like, celebrating christmas in the countryside.

When I grew up, in my family, each year we would meet on a set day before Christmas at a huge country family gathering... We'd have up to 100 family members from all over south east Qld  meet up in Gympie or Tinana , in a little country hall, for a whole day event. We'd drive 2 hrs from Brisbane to arrive by morning tea time. We'd connect  firstly with my grandparents, and it was  all my nanna's family connections... Nanna was one of 7 sisters and a brother, and they're families would all drive to the hall to meet up with us as well. Everyone who could cook, brought a contribution towards morning tea, lunch or afternoon tea.

After morning tea, we'd have a cent auction. A pack of ten tickets were  20 c each and everyone bought a gift to put into the auction. Then we'd all buy tickets and bid on anthying we saw that we'd like to win, and hopefully win it off the table. The numerous children present all had a job to be  display horses and carry each item for bidding, around the hall for everyone to look at.  You'd have to walk very slowly and stop when people wanted to get  a closer look. The auction was something of an experience... Ive never seen  anything like it before or since.

The majority of my extended family were country folk and  they cooked breads and puddings and biscuits and made sandwiches for lunch and we city kids loved to eat the wonderful treats they brought. We'd eat iceblocks n watermelon in the hot sun  too and cold christmas pud with cold custard for dessert.  We would have a talent show after lunch, where any family member who had a talent of some sort would perform. I as a young singer tutored by my father and nanna, would perform many an olden day song to warm the hearts of the oldies in the crowd.  I was adorable as  a little kid, and became more painfully shy as I grew closer to those teen years, eventually fading from the stage to allow the younger kids to take up the challenge of performing for the oldies.

After the talent show, would come the christmas carols, which heralded in good ol santa clause to the song Jingle bells, always dressed slightly differently each year, and varying in height, padding and gruffness of voice, as each uncle or cousin or nephew etc took turns playing him. Santa'd  give out pressies to all of us, pause for photos and  make a quick exit.

Following afternoon tea, we'd all hop in our cars and drive the long drive home, with most of us kids falling asleep in the back seats, whilst parents chatted quietly in the front.  If not, we'd sometimes all break into song, on those long drives home, singing  in a round, amongst my family and I,

"Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat, please put a penny in the old man's hat, please put a penny in the old mans hat."   Hmmmm I still love Christmas, and whilst I pause to savour this special season, let me send you my biggest Christmas wish ever. 

I wish that you would know personally, in this Christmas time, the wonderful love, joy and peace that the babe in the manger- Jesus  brought to this world many many christmases ago, and May He watch over you and keep you safe and secure in this wonderfully special holiday time. God Bless. Love from Jodie.

 

Holidays....Just saying!

There comes a time for rest. Its been  seven months since I returned to work and I have finally reached holidays.  Now Ive just enjoyed two whole weeks of rest, OR as close to rest as I can get, considering I have my children leaning on me for all things mummyish even in holiday time.

Its spring now  in Melbourne and the days are warming up...  we have had some temps in the mid 20's  over the past week, and I ve been spending a good amount of time tackling my garden and our verandah and back yard. Doing this has got me thinking...

  

 

 

I am thinking to extend the garden path all the way around our back yard and in the far corner of the garden, I'd like to build a pond, put some gold fish in it and put a small wooden bridge over it, for the kids to ride their bikes over. Id have to somehow make it safe for littlies...  Anyway, it involves quite a lot of dreaming, methodical planning and a whole lot of digging and exercise etc. SO we may get a pathway dug up by holidays end, but the topping and the pond etc will probably have to wait til Christmas holidays, and that's just the back yard.... Ive so many things Id like to do. 

I don't know about you,  but I tend to have grandiose ideas about every little venture in life. I'm not one for being fastidious usually, but I do like to go into detail when dreaming about things, and dreaming big.



I like things big...



If I am ever given a gift, I like that gift to be bigger or better than I expected, or to show that a lot of thought has gone into choosing it. I like surprises and getting more than expected. Doesn't everyone? I like to be overwhelmed by generosity and I like to be generous in return. I think grandiosity (if that's a word?) and generosity, goes hand in hand with the tendency for exaggeration, gregariousness, and the desire for excess and  the elaborate. But I don't think that this is BAD per se. I think that Big thinking, and Big tendencies can sometimes be greed driven, and at other times be creatively driven. They may stem from an internal sense of inadequacy or lack, but not always. I reckon I'm not alone in this preference and I think that there are many others out there like me, who like grandiose excess, and don't feel ashamed about it. I think even God likes excessive grandiosity. I think God likes BIG.

Images courtesy of
<a href="http://www.DailyClipArt.net">DailyClipArt.net</a>



     But......

I happen to also know, that there are those who look down on people with grandiose ideas, who find excessiveness unpleasant and uncalled for.  These people I believe, pride themselves on frugality, and the small and simple. They don't understand why people need excess or  need to elaborate. They are the ones who design open spaces without clutter, and enjoy sparseness.They focus on the singular. They like clear, clean lines, and saving things for a rainy day. They value the pristine. They are the ones who never over eat (will save some for later) or have too many clothes or too many thoughts. I'm sure they never experience chaos in their minds, or lives either. They have a strong sense of self control and strive to live ordered lives. I think they like to estimate exactly, and if necessary, they'll choose to underestimate, rather than overestimate. In discussions, they minimise their point of view,  placing value in the diminutive rather than on exploration or excessive talk.  They are like my complete opposite, and I think they can be driven by pride and piety, as well as at times a deep need for control. But they are also amazing to me! I  think even God is this way too at times. 

He likes the SMALL.

So how did I get onto this train of thought and what is the value behind it? I don't know except to say, that each has its values and its detriments. I'm not sure which array of characteristics God would prefer in mankind. I think he is the great creator of  abundance and excess and yet I think he values sacrifice...

I think he is exceedingly generous and complex and creative, yet also very simple, clear, and lacking chaos whilst demonstrating order and restraint. I think maybe God likes all of it and  each trait in its own unique manner. Why else would he create people with these tendencies???

Maybe environment has a part to play in how extreme these tendencies, traits and preferences play out in our lives, but I think too, that for the most part, we are what we are innately and to deny ourselves is to deny the very essence of the creator in us.

Anyway, I like being me and being with like minded people, but I  also like people who are the opposite  of me, and  I strive to be better at valuing what they value, reflecting what they like without being ashamed of my own person.  I guess though that that is what Love is about.  Ahhh love, life and living are so complex. Hmmmmm  anyway, its holidays and I was just thinking.....just saying!

                                             

Seasons of Expansion

Last night, I went to our church's WOW ( womens outreaching to women ) nite. We hold them on the last friday of every month and tackle different topics relevant to women, or just socialise. Anyway, this time,our pastor Pauline Warner, invited the wonderful Suzie Botross (She Will Run) to share with us about time management.

Now to be fair I should go back a week, and give you a little glimpse into the build up to this nights activities.

10 days ago, It was wednesday 15th of June. I  went to work on Wed, Thurs and Friday,  getting up at 5.30 am to get in the city by 7:20am. I usually have to iron uniforms for all of us, make lunches for the kids, pack my toddler's childcare bag, set out clothes, have breaky, do my TAWG and shower, dress, makeup, hair, and go to work.... Once I arrive at work, its go go go, till I leave... drive the long commute home arriving appox 5pm, pick up my toddler from childcare, take her home, get her dinner, give her a bath,settle her to bed, then cook tea for the rest of the family, having it ready as they walk in hungry at about 630pm After dinner, I get the other kids bathed, and tackle issues like unfinished homework, readers, random school projects due in 2 days time and the debriefing from their day at school, whilst at the same time, listen as my husband shares his days experience. Once the kids are in bed, the lunchboxes and uniforms for the morning retrieved,  and my own uniform put out for ironing in the am; I sit in my favourite arm chair, pull out my laptop, wade through the online unit I am studying at present whilst, spending a little time social networking on facebook etc (my hubby tackles his work on his laptop, usually in the same loungeroom, at the same time). I finally stumble off to bed sometime close midnight and am up again at the crack of dawn to do it all over again.

Now I had to work an extra, on this Saturday am. When I got home I was exhausted and after getting lunch for everyone , I had a 2 hr nap. My kids usually wash all their clothes, under my direction, and tidy their bedrooms on sat ams... But this weekend, our church was hosting  Tim Hall, an entertaining but also powerfully impacting healing evangelist. So my  husband took the kids to the seminar in the am, and when I got home, the kids had done nothing towards tackling their chores.  My husband had to push them really hard to get them to do anything... So having me asleep left my hubby somewhat perturbed and when I woke up, a silly argument ensued about the whole tidying issue etc.  We went to the Saturday nite outreach,  and   feeling challenged, dissolved into tearful apologies afterwards. The following sunday, we went to church in the am, I went to visit a friend after lunch,  came home, put a roast on, went to church again, and came home to a lovely roast, before getting the kids to bed and tackling the study once again...

Monday and Tuesday, I found the house in  a state of neglect, the kids clothes unclean, my own clothes not washed, the larder was empty and I had a teething unhappy sick toddler  who didnt want to be put down.
Wednesday worked, but came home to a sick husband with a 24hr bug. Thursday same ol thing, except I picked up an extra childbirth Education casual shift and was gone  from 0630 am til 1030 pm , getting a text message about the untidy state of the house. I came home and worked for an hour tidying the kitchen, and then did the usual preparation for the following day. I worked on friday am, and got home at 5, washed fed and put to bed my toddler,  and ensuring the family had food for tea before heading off to the womens event.

I was sooooooooo tired. I thought to myself as I drove to the womens event, I am so inconsistant, that the only thing that I do consistantly, is be inconsistant. !!!!! 
 
                                                Living this season of my life is such a challenge.

When I arrived I grabbed a coffee and sat with some ladies I havent had much time to chat with lately,  mums with young kids and working too.  As Suzie shared  from Gods wisdom on  managing our time, I in my exhausted silly state, joked around  loudly with the others, and we laughed and laughed. Yet deep down we couldnt help it,  at the same time, sobs of distress almost choked each one of us into silence.  It is sooo hard to deal with. As we started to share our weeks experiences, we couldnt stop talking. We realised we were in this similar state of pressure, of juggling all the big stones in our lives... the big parts that sent all the deeper questions bubbling to the surface.

How does a woman manage her full life? How does she prioritise her marriage, her family, her faith, her work, her home, her church, her friends, her own needs etc.? Pounding our heads with the overwhelming  thought of juggling it all, we found the comfort of common experiences and  in the deep desire to get it right, we found comfort in knowing most women in our season of life are doing the same thing. We need God and we need each other.

God has told us to cherish our time, to use it wisely, and that if we do, we will find contentment. Yet here we were, all three, exhausted struggling to find that sense of peace in our lives. We laughed , we cried, we encouraged each other, we listened, we validated each others situation and difficulties. Suzie and Pauline boosted us up, but most of all, we recognised that it is a season that comes with womanhood, motherhood and being a wife. It comes with fulfilment, and having "full" lives, pressed down shaken together and running over. Its almost too hard to contain. Some of the difficulties we face, are simply  poor self talk, lack of  self discipline and disorder. Some of the issues are simply beyond our control, but there is comfort in sharing each others burdens.

Although all my deeper questions were not fully answered last nite,  I left  with the  knowledge of what I need to do, to obtain some practical improvements  in my life. But most of all I left with  the sense of peace and comfort  that comes form sharing, with others that understand the realities of living a full life . I recognise this is a season of expansion and that God is broadening our shoulders, our hearts, and our hands. He is teaching us to better our thoughts and our organisation, but most of all, he is expanding our need of him. I thank God for this season Im in. I wouldnt swap it for quids!

Messie Transformations

Today Im sharing from my mothers heart, the challenges I face as a " self confessed messie" with the responsibility I have to raise tidy, organised, "cleanie" kids, able to function responsibly in our western society. Ive been on a journey since I was a teenager, to conquer my messie ways, and its just got harder!.

Over time, I've come to value, not only living neatly and having a beautiful tidy home, where guests feel free to drop by at any time,... but also to value the benefits of being organised, of staying on track, with a household & familiy life that runs fluidly, seemlessly, every day . Ahhh the dream is still out there!

Talking to a friend one day in our church creche, she told me about the Messie Manual (by Sandra Fenton) and loaned me several books on this topic.  It was the answer I needed to help me make some dramatic changes in my erratic, cluttered and busy life. I joined the online self help group- I  now get the regular email encouragements  helping me to change my  "stinkin thinkin" as our pastor says, and Im having a messie transformation.

Then I started practically... Ive done several clean outs at home, tackling piles of unrequired belongings, giving them away to op shops, council clean ups and the rubbish bin.  I do weekly meal plans, which we all take turns in choosing the weeks dinners, and from which I write my weekly shopping list.  Now  I  can also shop  just once a week, reigning in those costly, frequent trips for incidentals.

Ive introduced my children to the  new (not) concept of "chores". They always had to tidy their bedrooms and this has been a constant struggle and remains so.  But I started with a single chore , each of setting or clearing the table at the night time meal. Suprisingly they've taken this on without too much trouble. We did this for several months before I introduced the next new idea that each child had to keep either their toilet or bathroom tidy as well as their shared bedroom, and the dinner routine.That was over 6mths ago. Now we are regularly getting them to tidy their areas.... with a reasonable amount of success (let the optimism shine through!) In general, the greatest problem still falls with me, and my own issues of inconsistency, slackness and the like, although, this too is improving slowly.

The latest step towards tidyness, has been introducing the kids to the idea of washing and drying their own dirty clothes once a week. (A fun chore for kids, when its sunny n warm, a miserable chore when its cold and windy)... This has been a big step, and we've only been doing it for a month with mixed success... But the process has already had some interesting  lightbulb moments for all of us...

1. Putting the clean clothes away, rather than tossing them in the dirty clothes basket when tidying - is less work. WOW  
2. Washing, hanging clothes, folding  and putting them away takes a lot of time, Hmmm.
3. You can't put wet or damp clothes in drawers as they dont dry!, Nor does hanging clothes on top of each other on  the washing lines.  If you do so, you  will have damp clothes to wear to school etc...
4. You need to think ahead to what they want/ need to wear through the week to make sure its clean... or they miss out.  (not good when its schoolwear but anyway).
5. Kids need to be prompted to do their chores, and rereminded of all these things...every time they're meant to do them. arghhh groan!

Im sure there's much more to be learnt by doing this, and at nearly 9 and 6 yrs old,  my daughters are big enough to do something towards maintaining their own clothes. I realise that as their mummy, I am leaned on heavily to remind and assist them with their chores, but this way, at least, they will hopefully ?! learn early to be responsible for their own things... and appreciate  when help is given.

The offset, is now I am getting the occasional moment where, with a relatively tidy house,  and food in the cupboard, and 2 energetic kids focussing on their own tidyness, and a toddler having a naptime, I can snatch some spare time to do me stuff... i.e. gardening, reading, playing guitar, study etc.  Its been so long since Ive had this...  (9 yrs to be precise).

And as with all things, Im appreciating every moment as it is subject to change!

Miraculous Mummy Milk -

It was hard to think of a tactful title for what Im writing about today...  The human body is amazing. A woman's miraculous, marvellous body is created for the wellbeing of her infant/s, herself and her husband. It shouts out loudly that there is a higher order intelligence, a creator God, who designed  the female body to do this very thing:- to breastfeed and nurture. One of the  hebrew names for God is " El Shaddai ", meaning "all sufficient one" , derived from the hebrew word for breasts, meaning that God provides all our nourishment and needs . If we are created in Gods image, then this nurturing aspect of God is mirrored in  the creation of a woman's body and it's crazy way of meeting the needs of the infant, without even a deliberate thought towards it. Simply amazing stuff. Anyway, not wanting to sound "hairy fairy in the airy", I'll attempt to illucidate some facinating points Ive learnt so far about breasts, breastmilk, babes and all that happens in between.

ANATOMY BASICS
Breasts are formed in a fetus, early in pregnancy. At birth, a baby's breasts are fully formed but dormant. The influence of hormones in puberty and again in pregnancy cause growth in the maternal breasts and  further differentiation of breast tissue. Its important to remember that every breast is different... no two are exactly the same,  not even on the same person. But the overall design is the same.

ALL Breasts have an areola and a nipple and  some degree of breast fullness/tissue.The areola is the dark pink/brown area surrounding the nipple and  it darkens and becomes larger in pregnancy. The bumpy bits on the areola are montgomery glands which moisten the area and have an protective antimicrobial role.

The appearance of a baby's mouth is designed specifically for suckling at a breast and  it changes shape dramatically over the first two years. Even if a baby knew how to talk at birth, it couldnt because of the  the shape of the mouth and pharangeal area. .... ok so thats the basics... now for the interesting stuff.

AT BIRTH
At birth, babies are placed on their mothers chest. Immediately after birth, the mother's breasts release subtle smells drawing the infants attention towards the nipple. The colostrum of the breast tastes and smells the same as amniotic fluid. Considering the baby's sight is blurred and unfocused, when placed on the mothers chest, it has these 2 large brown lumpy dots that smell  and taste good, to aim for.  Healthy babies, left on mums chest will attempt to attach to these dots, i.e. the breast and suckle within an hour of birth.

SKIN TO SKIN
When a baby is placed skin to skin on the mother's chest, her body focuses on  nurturing the infant immediately. Her body intuitively modifies its temperature to keep the infant warm, (bet you didnt know you could do that). The hormones surging through her body makes her nipples more erect allowing the infant to locate them more easily, and bringing a calming influence over her and by proxy, over the infant.  The love hormone oxytocin, is responsible for much of this bonding as well as contracting the mother's uterus, to minimise bleeding.

This causes the  baby to seek the breast, to meet its own nutritional needs, and by reducing the baby's cortisol (stress) levels, it reduces its crying, stablising heartrate and oxygen levels etc. God created  skin to skin for a reason. He  designed sensitive rooting reflexes in a baby's face to assist the baby to open its mouth wide to help attach to the breast. The suckling reflex occurs when the baby's mouth (hard palate) comes in contact with a nipple. Its all there in the design. One to touch, two to open, three to suck...

UNICEF UK Website Resource- first Breastfeed 

TIMING
God designed the body to make milk when a drop in pregnancy hormones occur in the first few days after birth. Even if a mother struggles with breastfeeding in those first few days, the milk still usually comes in. The more often she tries to breastfeed her baby, the quicker the milk will come in.  Once the milkflow has established, only then does the mothers supply depend on the amount the baby demands. This first production of milk is designed to accomodate the whole "learning to breastfeed" experience in the first few days. Obviously not many women get the skill of breastfeeding correct in the first few feeds, but as milk comes in, and as babies demand more feeds, and after several days caring for a babe, women start to get the feel for holding and caring for their babies and their breasts. God expected this, and wrote it into his incredible design. 

IN THE MILK
Breastmilk is also  fascinating. Its so specifically designed to meet the needs of the infant. Born relatively immature and fully dependent on its parents for survival, human infants require breast milk low in protein (easy for metabolism and excretion) and high in lactose (essential for the rapid brain development). Breastmilk is perfectly structured in content and volume, from the first small amounts of colostrum in the first few days after birth when the baby's organs are slowly begining to function, to the  active needs of the toddler.

Breastmilk contains digestive enxymes, anti inflammatory elements, antioxidants, growth factors and more. The proteins in breastmilk are nutritive, easily digested, but also antimicrobial, bacteriostatic and bacteriocidal. Breastmilk also has antiviral and antifungal capacities and can kill off some forms of cancerous cells. Breastmilk provides immunological protection  through various immunoglobulins in the milk until an infants own immune system is established.

IMMUNITY
Born in a sterile state, the infant passes through the vagina, next to the mother's anus, and has contact with the breasts through breast feeding, exposing it to all the normal gut flora of the mother, helping to form its own normal flora. This helps establish an immune defence system. When a baby comes in contact with a virus or bacterial illness,  if the mother is also exposed to the same virus/ bacteria, the mother's body produces an immune response that flows through the milk and helps the infant fight against the attack, reducing the severity of the illness in the infant, helping preserve the infant.

PREMATURITY
When a baby is born prematurely, the mother's milk is specifically designed to meet the needs of a premature infant. It is more nutrient concentrated, with higher levels of protien for energy and growth, higher levels of immune supportive elements  and the antibacterial, anti inflammatory elements remain higher  for longer in the breastmilk of mother's of premature infants, compared to those with term infants. God knew that a premmie's immune system is normally weaker for longer than a term infant. How cool is that!

INTELLIGENT DESIGN
Breastfeeding, babies, mother's bodies and the like, are wonderful examples of  intelligent design.  There is no way, in my thoughts, that a woman could choose to somehow change the nature of her breastmilk composition through natural selection, based on the intrinsic needs of an extrinsic infant - be it premature or at term.  Nor is it any small matter, when these wonderful elements of design are interrupted and meddled with, as our western medicalised societies tend to do. God created womens bodies to bear offspring before Eve sinned and  it was all part of his plan for us. We are created in his image and mirror God's capacity to nurture, to meet our needs and respond to us, even before we are aware of our need. Anyway, I hope you've been able to catch a glimpse of the creators handiwork today. Be Blessed.

Finding my place in the blog world

Hi there.

Ive had several blogs entries in here over the past few months, but to be truthful, I feel pretty inept ( is that the right word???) at  blogging. I don't know where to focus my blogs. I don't want to spend all my time talking about my family, although I can talk for hours about each one of my kids and their unique and wonderful personalities and my hubby, well I could go blue in the face talking about him etc. But I don't think its right to share tooo much about your loved ones online, for a range of reasons I wont go into on here.
I don't feel I should write specifically about my work roles for fear of breaking confidentiality by accident.  I'm known for talking too much sometimes, and  I value my workplace and am proud of the work I do. I don't want to regret making comments  too close to my work place, for fear that I may unintentionally act or become "unprofessional" in my attitudes.I do love to talk about my profession as a nurse/midwife/educator, but it has its gorie aspects, and can turn the stomachs of those, less exposed to the world of medicine, and midwifery.
I could talk about my love of God, and my faith in his amazing grace and power. I could talk about his healing touch, and his capacity to bring about positive change in the lives of everyone who invites him into their world. I could talk about God alot but again, people don't like to be challenged about religious perspectives, and I find that when I talk about God to others, it gets under their skin and by the nature of God himself, people feel uncomfortable and convicted.   I care enough, not to want to make people feel uncomfortable, but we are  all human and sinful by nature, and in the presence of a perfect and peaceful God, that sinful state can become pretty daunting and unpleasant. I believe God loves us as we are, but  He also loves us too much to leave us that way, so he is willing us to change. Change for most people is frightening and off putting. But when you know He is for you and not against you, and you're willing to allow Him to have His way in your life, the changes He will help you make will be amazing and fulfiling. *anyway that's my feelings about Him. I could write all day, every day about God. My whole life is a process of  learning more about Him and about why he loves me.
I could write about learning, about studying and about being the student, the life long learner, the self directed, self initiating, self limiting learner. I have been studying one thing or another almost every year since I started kindergarten. Now, at 38, that means Ive done a lot of study! Somewhere in my young adult life, I realised I liked to learn things...be it formally or through a  more casual arrangement.
My latest studying endeavor is in lactation consultancy preparation. I am studying towards the international board of certified lactation consultants exam in July. I'm cramming everything I can learn about breastfeeding and lactation into my porous  little brain, hoping to retain at least some of what is put there so that I can pass the exam, and work privately as a consultant.
SO where do I find my fit in this eclectic and fascinating world of blogsters>? where do I focus my blog? I could focus on motherhood and breastfeeding, boobies and babies and fluff around the edges of my life and work and family. I could go totally abstract and randomly comments on the news or social media of the moment , but  I would probably bore the pants off you all.
I could try to be like my mum and make all  my writing poetry and rhyme, but that would take a huge amount of time, that I do not own.
So for the moment, Ill continue to dabble and dribble and hope that eventually Ill find the right space and place, and faceto present to you all. Hopefully Ill be able to contribute more meaningfully to peoples lives.  In the mean time, if you think I should write on a particular subject, please let me know. Ill be happy to give it a go.
Thanks for your support.

The Making of Mothers & Midwives

Well I've returned to the workforce as a midwifery educator/ midwife RN. Ive been enjoying the experience of working with new mums, and as well as working with new students.  Its been an interesting time of observation too. Its funny how motherhood and midwifery reflect similar growth patterns. I find myself comparing these roles often; as a midwifery educator and also as a mum. Observing students as they step into a new identity of a midwife, emanating all the knowledge and skills that makes them able to work 'with women' is captivating. The glimpses of knowledge and personal insight they gain early in their course grows just like a pregnant woman grows, little by little into something that is living and breathing within them. Sometimes this growth is internally driven by morals and ways of being, sometimes externally molded and sculpted through other midwives, doctors or  educators or simply by circumstance.

With every interaction with a woman, the student learns. Given building blocks of knowledge and information  at opportune moments in their clinical practice, the students are able assemble all the facts and figures into a solid foundation to underpin their growing skills and mindsets. Sometimes, the students can find and place some blocks themselves - self directed learning at its best. This aspect makes every midwife unique. The basic fundamentals of midwifery knowledge and skill are the same world wide and shared with each student, but the unique bent that each midwifery student or midwife brings to her own formation, the  array of knowledge and how they intermingle their own learning with the fundamentals, makes the foundations unique. Something to be treasured, as unique as every infant born through their care.

Observing a woman as she experiences all the aspects of pregnancy,  of labour, of birthing an infant and of learning how to care for and love that infant/s is also an amazing priviledge. As a midwife works 'with woman'  she is re-introduced to all the aspects of  womanhood, not personally but now professionally. Including :- hormones, menstrual cycles and pregnancy terms to emotions, roles, self image and self confidence, to spiritual awareness and holistic needs. As well as this, the experience of motherhood,  breastfeeding, nurturing, handling an infant, meeting its needs and her own.  There is also the social approval within the community, the psychological celebration of pregnant women, and the increased sensitivity to other peoples sudden interest in a woman's health and well being when pregnant.  Eyes are  alerted to the sudden awareness of every other pregnant woman at the same time..

As women walk through the various stages of pregnancy, so too, do midwifery students walk through stages of growth and development.  Stages of beginner nervousness, of the honeymoon phase of learning- falling in love with the idea of midwifery, of the early experiences which confirm or challenge preconcieved ideas of what a midwife is,  and of seeing everywhere, pregnancy, birth and mothers. When students hit the harder middle months of growth and experiences, of practicing and watching and participating in all things birthwise and motherwise, the prevalence of a world of mothers can be fulfilling or very daunting.

Caring for women in all the stages utilising the growing knowledge that they have gained  fosters a new self confidence in the student. Where students may become over confident initially, time and reality quickly reminds them of their student status.  Eventual realisation of the enormous amounts of knowledge and constant research and changes in the body of knowledge  surrounding midwifery, causes students to reconsider their  own depth of knowing and a tentative new found respect for colleagues is born. As students begin to develop their own perspectives and ways of doing, a baby midwife is being born and fed. Experience after experience is food to their bones. Every hand that helps a woman birth, is strengthened. Every watching eye on a  labouring woman, or every palpation of a pregnant abdomen,  every comforting  word to the hormonal day three mum,  every experience moves a student further towards her calling to be 'with woman'. And this is why I love the making of mothers and midwives.

Discovering the Dream

The other night I had a dream. Let me tell you about it.

In the dream, I was a nurse working on a ward. There were three beds/patients in the ward and a space where a fourth bed was supposed to be. I was standing in the room looking at the place where the bed was missing when a man dressed in overalls walks in and goes over to the empty space on the wall and begins to remove parts of the wall. Behind the wall is a wall of perspex which can be seen through and looking through it, I could see into a hidden room which looks like a  stage from a theatre. This hidden room is dark and run down and covered in spiderwebs and rats and moths etc. Its been hidden for a long time by the state of it. Looking up at the roof, there is a hole in the ceiling through which you can see the sky, and  an eagle is bomb diving through it picking up the vermin from off the floor and flying back out through the hole to discard the vermin.

A strange dream, but one I have been thinking about. Its such a picture of my life, of my psyche trying to wake me up n tell me something....  Maybe its God trying to get through to me too. Have I closed off an area of my life and ignored it for a long time, allowing it to become run down, ruined and festering?  Well yes.   For a long time now I have been functioning  in  my career roles, church roles and family roles  and somehow neglected this "staged" part of my person. So what is this staged part of me??? UHM mm well Im not totally sure but I think its the creative part of my being, the performer in me!  Im not sure if this is the proper interpretation of this dream, but I think thats what I can read into it.

When I think of a stage, I think about  performance. I associate  a lot of things with performance.... acting, singing, dancing, playing the piano or guitar, reciting a poem. Lots of things...  I love to perform and I love to be the centre of peoples attention. Ive done all of the above at different times in my life, and most of them Ive enjoyed in one form or another.  Ive enjoyed showing off, being a drama queen, attention seeking  etc. But along with maturity and personal growth, I have come to view this as immaturity, neediness, selfishness and an unhealthy mindset - thus I have deliberately shut it off..

Its been so long since Ive dabbled in these areas that I forget what I would have loved  to do most. But considering my gut feelings, I don't identify with any of these  anymore.This part of my life, the creative part has been ignored for a long time, and the  small opportunites for creative expression have been boxed into academia, work, church life and family - all pretty closed, self limiting areas.

I presume, the purpose of the dream is to draw my attention to this neglected area, so that I can refresh and restore it to its rightful place in my life and in Gods perfect plan for me. But how ? And can I implement the restoration , or is it beyond my control. Do I just give  this over to God and wait for his intervention or am I required to do something too...? Seems like this is a clean up job I need to be apart of, but I am at a loss of how and what to do . Either way, I realise I m not in control and need divine assistance to problem solve this dream.



Having hit the middle years, I ve made my lifes' grooves and am sort of stuck in them. My love of family and career, and study, and church, has meant that I am limited in free time to explore the creative. My battles with self image, self worth and  the need for attention have also marred my ability to explore the creative innocently, without attaching to it, weighty baggage of pride, greed n self centredness etc.  Ive always wanted to  explore this area without sinning, but have found it hard not to be drawn down those wrong pathways.... Its been easiest to simply lock it up in my past n forget about it. Even my poor piano is now just a  grandiosed shelf. I think blogging is probably the onlyoutlet I feel free to entertain a creative  self expression at the moment- which is not much to boast about sadly.

So  now Im attempting to discover some wise way to introduce a major clean up and revelation of the stage and performance areas of my life..what ever they  may be. So hears to finding out the right way to do this, and  to embarking apon a journey of entertaining/ performing in a Godly, selfless and mature way.

Childhood Crushes

This week we spent some time visiting a family who have boys the same age as all my girls and are in the same classes at school etc. My girls think these boys are great and I must say, that I think they are pretty amazing kids too. I often wonder what it would be like to live in a culture where you as the parents, arrange your children's marriages. Every time I meet lovely boys who have lovely parents, I think how nice it would be to have my girls marry into their family. But still I live in the real world, in Australia, and I want my children to have the same freedoms I have had,  to make their own choice of marital partner etc. I don't think I would save them any heartache by choosing their partner for them. But I do think I can help save them from  making mistakes in marriage by raising them well.

I believe my role as a parent is to help my kids  understand that marriage is very important. It is to be valued and considered a precious institution, but is also vulnerable to life struggles and the level of attention given to its growth and development. It is to be treasured in spite of  these difficulties in procurement and maintenance.  I hope I can live it as well as tell it. I will tell them that its about a life time commitment, and  when they look for a life partner, that some important characteristics should be present. These characteristics include the ability to love deeply and selflessly, the ability to acknowledge failure and wrong, and to be able to say sorry. Wisdom, adaptability and flexibility are also important characteristics I want them to look for too. Along with consistency, strong sound convictions and a good work ethic.

I could think of many others, but I also want my girls to realise that the man they marry will also be human and have his own faults too so I  want them to be able to forgive and bring the same qualities to the marriage, to stand strong on their own convictions (which will hopefully echo those of their parents) and know what they will and wont tolerate. I hope and pray my girls will marry well and wisely, in a time of maturity, and that in the years ahead I will end up with 3 lovely, caring, Christian son- in -laws. I truely pray for this.  I am starting while they are young, because their marriages are so important and even moreso as the days are coming.. But in the mean time, I am subjected to the experiences of child hood crushes and they are now beginning to occur.

My eldest daughter has had a crush on a class mate for about a year, and has told me over n over how she'd love to marry this boy, and how dreamy and nice he is to her.  The "in" word is "dreamy".......  Groan!

Ive tried to be laid back about it when she talks about this boy, and at times tried to offer a reality check, telling her that its unlikely that she will still feel the same way in 10 - 20 years time. After a funny conversation on the weekend, my eldest daughter discovered that what she was doing was actually daydreaming about this young boy,   and that this was what people referred to as having a "crush". She didn't realise that that's what a crush was. It makes me wonder what  did she think a crush was...?

I must  remember to ask her. Anyway, I am waiting for the day when this boy has a fall from grace in her eyes and ceases to be her dream guy. I think all boyhood crushes do eventually fade don't they? I hope so... In the meantime, I guess I'll continue to be reminded of how nice, and how kind, and how funny, and how clever, and how dreamy this boy is and the many more boyhood crushes that come her way, until she finds the right one in twenty years time ( and not before if I have any say in the matter!).

Back To Work

Well, its official. I have returned to work. Casual shifts at present, I am getting used to working again. Ive booked my baby into child care, which starts when my husband also returns to work. She is managing with mummy being absent for much of the day when I work. Currently I have been picking up shifts on a  pre & post natal ward, working with mums to be and new mums and new bubs, dealing with sleep deprivation, sore boobs, babies that wont attach, or sleep, teaching how to bathe them, reassuring self doubting mums they are doing great as they battle the huge surge  of breastfeeding hormons and  the drop off pregnancy hormones. Its  usually hormonal city!  Tears are commonplace, exhaustion is certain, crankiness is common, family feuds are familiar, pain is almost always garanteed, and so is joyfulness, in huge volumes. Postnatal days are such a funny mix!

The amazing moments of sheer joy that these new parents have, gazing at the beautiful creature that is their baby, their offspring, their creation,  are mixed with so much discomfort, so much testing, so much need of them, yet every parent rises to the occasion. Its a challenge to go through it yourself and its a wonderful challenge to help people go through it too. I love it. Every parent brings to the mix their own experiences, understandings and perspective, their own temperments, and the relationship  dynamics they have with their partners or without (for those going it alone). Midwives function in a supportive and teaching role, working with the woman, and family to help them bond and care for their infant; and building on what they already know and understand as new parents.

I guess I like postnatal because of the teaching aspect, and because often there isnt a single right answer - there are a range of rights and possibilities and its your job to help the woman and her partner to choose the most appropriate options for their situation. Like us, no two babies are the same, no two women are the same, no two pregnancies or births are the same. No two choices are the same either. The choices parents make in the early days about how they will care for their child will often affect their experiences, feelings and choices long term as parents. Some will even choose whether to have more children based on their experiences in the first  few weeks after birth. So its a very important time frame for them.

Anyway, the next challenge for  me in my return to work, will be working in birth suite again, ? before or after I return to my education role.  Its a totally different ball game, working in birth suite.  Postnatally, a midwife can care for up to 6 women and their infants, and partners etc at any one time, and has to juggle many balls at once.  In birth suite, or 'labour ward', or the 'delivery rooms,' usually one midwife  is caring for one or two women at a time, along with their partners. Midwives work in tandem with others, supporting each other as their women birth.  These can be straight forward births, or complicated births, inductions of labour, caesarean births or the birth of a stillborn infant. Working in birth suite is much more focused, with a coaching aspect and one on one. It has a totally different feel, and places different demands on the midwife concerned. Still there are balls to juggle here too.

I return to an education role in February. I enjoy teaching midwifery and am looking forward to meeting the new students this year, and working with them as they learn the art of working  with women. Its a true skill to be a good midwife and I work with some incredibly skilled, effective, capable and gifted midwives. I think I am very fortunate to work where I do. Healthcare is a challenging work place at the best of times, because of the nature of work. Maternity is not such a place, and is generally an oasis of pleasantness in the health care system.   But its not without its challenges either.  So heres to returning to work, and to helping people become parents, and students become midwives, and all that happens in between.

They are still standing - Shine on Brisbane!

The tragic flooding of Queensland is just mind blowing. Like the rest of the world, Ive been captivated by the graphic visual display that has  been played and replayed on television, and then again replayed on my mind. Ive been so churned, like the muddy rapid waters gushing through the towns of Qld. Its been hard to switch off, even when Ive turned off the television. Ive actually had to ask God to step in and bring peace to my heart and my head. Last night I couldn't sleep because of images and memories of death related situations and  new  vision of people being swept to their deaths in the floods. This tragedy resurfaced other trauma Ive experienced, churning the sadness and anxiety over and over in my mind. I heard someone say on the radio that this reaction is quite common. Im not concerned for I know that, this too shall pass.

Brisbane is my home land. Ive lived in Victoria for ten years but I'm still a Queenslander at heart. Its where I was born, where I was raised, its how I think, how I talk, how I act. There's so much of my life that has been there and its where much of my extended family still live. In fact, we've got family in almost every flooded area  in the state but all are ok. Brisbane, Kallangur, Petrie, BrayPark, Toowoomba, Gold Coast, Emerald, Bundaberg, Gladstone, Sunshine Coast, Goodiwindi, etc. Most of our family holidays are still spent in Queensland. Since I left my homeland, we've worn a track on the highways through the outback  crossing three states, from Melbourne to Brisbane and back again many many times. We know the flight path from Brissie to Tullamarine too and are seasoned travellers.

Living in Victoria, when I hear people talk of the Sunshine State, my ears always prick up. Whenever there's a maroon numberplate on the road, I smile to myself, and am extra grace to them on the road.  I love my homeland, and the people and when they hurt, I hurt too.

What these amazingly resilient people have endured over the past month or so, the rains, the flood, the loss, is almost indescribable. They are a mighty tenatious bunch. I have been so very proud of these people, how they have come together to face this terrible situation. How the leadership of this nation and this state and the cities affected have shown such amazing strength and good governance in the midst of this disaster, (not even considering their political perspectives). Its wonderful how tragedy brings the best out in people, its just a shame it costs so much.  The respected George Negus once said, "Qlders do disasters well" (meaning they cope well in the midst of tragedy)  and I have to agree.

(an amazing tribute from a church in Brisbane)

Despite the overwhelming contribution to my churning, I thank God for  the media, and their ability to present the news, the views and the pictures so that Qlders around the world can stay connected to their communities.  Ive also really valued the social networking media, which has allowed me to contact friends and family and stay abreast of all that is happening to them and their families. The challenging days ahead for Qlders will test their will, their sunshiny disposition and their ability to work together, The weather is still unpredictable but hopefully there will not be a repeat of this flood in the coming days. It will be difficult to watch from afar, unable to offer much practical help. But I intend to be a listening ear, for people to share their struggles, and help encourage them and pray for them. We will also give as much as we can financially to help the recovery efforts.  I wanna do my part if I can, to see my homeland restored as best as possible.

Thank God For New Beginnings

Baldry Apricots!

 

   

picking apricots from our fruit trees

Well its finally happened. 2011 has arrived and we enter a new year, a new beginning, a new phase. No  more looking back to the year past. Thank God for new beginnings. They lift the spirit, reboost the energy levels, refocus the mind and soul, and bring good things to the fore.   This year is looking up already. For us, it is all about doing life as a family of five, with two parentals at work and three kiddilies at school & care; and all of us at church and everything else in between.

Today I started by pulling out our new calenders we received at Christmas. I was given two good ones - one has great tips for getting super organised....and I am already taking the suggestions on board to help grow the organisational capacity of my personhood.  One of my greatest challenges in life is improving my ability to organise myself n my family at the same time.
 As a mum, its expected to come with the territory and as each child emerges and the family grows, I am challenged to make my capacity grow and my ability  to manage the family and the household, strengthen. Honestly though, I have been quite patchy in areas and my organisational skills need a lot of work. These areas will be challenged even more so as I head back to work for the first time since Lily was born, adding another ball into the never ending juggling act.  This need for greater organisation comes hand in hand with  a greater level of consistency and stick ability (something Ive always struggled with).  To make it work, these extra characteristics in my personhood, also need to grow a lot. Arghhhh!!!!! the pain.... the sorrow.... the stretching!!!! But I know I can do it. Ive seen others do it successfully, and Im sure I'll be able to do the same, God willing. I just have to try, and try and try. I think I can, I think I can!

At Christmas time my lovely husband heard my request for a present I could use, and blessed me with what I really wanted (even though he felt embarrassed he couldnt boast about it to his mates), so I cant wait to use  my "nurse stuff " lol ...a neonatal stethoscope and  pocket of forceps, scissors, fob watch, neuro light, pen and card holder. I am keen to get  back into midwifery, nursing and education. Returning to work has come around so quickly, but at the same time, Ive been longing for it for ages. There's something very fulfilling about helping others through the experience of pregnancy, birth and the early days of parenthood.

More exciting preparations occurred this week as we went shopping for a family's worth of shoes. We also bought new lunchboxes and fortunately the girls uniforms still fit for this year. Now they are set for school and we can spend the rest of the holidays enjoying them as they should be. i.e. hitting the beach and playground and having a lot of  fun family time together, picking fruit, playing softball, riding bikes, playing boogle and board games, and of course, tidying up! etc.

 Hooray for new starts and new things....

Its lovely to start afresh together as a family. 

 

I am continuing to try to live a healthier lifestyle  and enhance my personal fitness... Not just a goal but a lifelong challenge for me, something that is my never ending story and something I hope to achieve, (not just a little better, but a whole lot better), each year as I age. Reflecting on 2010, Ive gained several kilos as I anticipated from breastfeeding and the munchies/ moodies...that goes with it (same as  with previous babies.) But unlike previous times, I now know the efforts  required of me to shed these kgs, especially once I have weaned. It's something I'm keen to do to benefit both myself n my hubby... I know men love to have a gorgeous wife on their arms and I wanna be that for Alan.  Plus I want to set a good example for my kids, encouraging them to maintain a healthy body, a healthy mind and not be conned into lazy attitudes and behaviours...( something I have done for much of my life).

Finally I want to continue to grow my spirit, my understanding of who God is and what he requires of me. In church today they read out Job (38 -40), where God describes himself by challenging Job's understanding of who he thinks God is....

I too want to get a better glimpse of this awesome God.

The Lord Challenges Job

¹ Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:

 ² “Who is this that obscures my plans
   with words without knowledge?
³ Brace yourself like a man;
   I will question you,
   and you shall answer me.

 ⁴ “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
   Tell me, if you understand.
⁵ Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
   Who stretched a measuring line across it?
⁶ On what were its footings set,
   or who laid its cornerstone—
⁷ while the morning stars sang together
   and all the angels^[a] shouted for joy?

 ⁸ “Who shut up the sea behind doors
   when it burst forth from the womb,
⁹ when I made the clouds its garment
   and wrapped it in thick darkness,
¹⁰ when I fixed limits for it
   and set its doors and bars in place,
¹¹ when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
   here is where your proud waves halt’?

 ¹² “Have you ever given orders to the morning,
   or shown the dawn its place,
¹³ that it might take the earth by the edges
   and shake the wicked out of it?
¹⁴ The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
   its features stand out like those of a garment.
¹⁵ The wicked are denied their light,
   and their upraised arm is broken.
 ¹⁶ “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
   or walked in the recesses of the deep?
¹⁷ Have the gates of death been shown to you?
   Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
¹⁸ Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
   Tell me, if you know all this.
 ¹⁹ “What is the way to the abode of light?

   And where does darkness reside?
²⁰ Can you take them to their places?
   Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
²¹ Surely you know, for you were already born!
   You have lived so many years!
 
 ²² “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
   or seen the storehouses of the hail,
²³ which I reserve for times of trouble,
   for days of war and battle?
²⁴ What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,
   or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?
²⁵ Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,
   and a path for the thunderstorm,
²⁶ to water a land where no one lives,
   an uninhabited desert,
²⁷ to satisfy a desolate wasteland
   and make it sprout with grass?
²⁸ Does the rain have a father?
   Who fathers the drops of dew?
²⁹ From whose womb comes the ice?
   Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens
³⁰ when the waters become hard as stone,
   when the surface of the deep is frozen?

 ³¹ “Can you bind the chains^[b] of the Pleiades?
   Can you loosen Orion’s belt?
³² Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons^[c]
   or lead out the Bear^[d] with its cubs?
³³ Do you know the laws of the heavens?
   Can you set up God’s^[e] dominion over the earth?

 ³⁴ “Can you raise your voice to the clouds
   and cover yourself with a flood of water?
³⁵ Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
   Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?
³⁶ Who gives the ibis wisdom^[f]
   or gives the rooster understanding?^[g]
37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
   Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens
³⁸ when the dust becomes hard
   and the clods of earth stick together?

 ³⁹ “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
   and satisfy the hunger of the lions
⁴⁰ when they crouch in their dens
   or lie in wait in a thicket?
⁴¹ Who provides food for the raven
   when its young cry out to God
   and wander about for lack of food? 

What an awesome, scary, amazing, creative, challenging, powerful, distinctive, personable God!

What does 2011 hold for you?